What do you do when you learn that someone you respected had violated your trust, had betrayed not only you, but your entire community?
. . .
I had only a few minutes to do a quick scan of Facebook this afternoon at work, as we are in the thick of staff training for the month of August. A post from women’s health and sexual empowerment writer Pamela Madsen caught my eye: Made To Order Babies: When Reproductive Medicine Breaks the Law. Intrigued, I clicked over and skimmed her post.
Theresa Erickson.
FBI investigation.
Baby selling ring.
These words flashed out from the screen like beacons. And then:
Yesterday, it became official as Theresa Erickson plead guilty to a conspiracy charge in what federal prosecutors described, truly as a baby-selling ring. Even though the whispering had been quite loud lately about what was about to hit the news – nothing could prepare the reproductive community for this news – and I can’t imagine the after shocks still to come.
Erickson’s name may be familiar to you on this blog.
I was a guest on her radio show back in April of this year.
. . .
For the first time in my life, I actually understand completely the meaning of the word “duped.”
Because she not only duped me, but the entire family building community.
. . .
ABC News is currently running the story, as well as many, many more national and international news outlets. They flesh out the details: Erickson didn’t act alone and colluded with two others to arrange for babies created from donor eggs and sperm, carried by surrogates in the Ukraine, to be sold to wanting parents to the tune of as much as $100,000 to $150,000 each.
Twelve babies were placed through these fraudulent arrangements. These parents will keep their children and have been cleared of any wrongdoing. But the damage done to the stories of how these families were created and came together is irreparable.
Erickson, on the other hand, faces up to five years in federal prison, as well as a $250,000 federal fine and $120,000 total in restitution to these dozen defrauded families.
In the end, Erickson only made $70,000 from six years’ worth of her shady efforts.
Apparently greed, temptation, and unethical decision-making have a price… and it’s only $70,000.
. . .
This hurts.
It hurts me.
More importantly, her actions have hurt this entire community.
Theresa Erickson used her well-established personal brand and in-depth inside knowledge of third-party assisted reproductive law to circumvent those very laws for her own personal financial gain.
She betrayed our community’s trust.
As a community, we’ve made such great strides in the past year. Her actions have instead set us back. Once again, our community has been marred by an embarrassing and shocking story just ripe for tabloid picking in its sensational details. Her selfish actions have reinforced so many myths we sought to erase during this year’s National Infertility Awareness Week.
Once again, the public gets a glimpse of the infertility community’s dirty laundry, allowed to entertain those controversial assumptions that they always suspected were true anyway, I mean, can you even believe these details?!
“Infertile couples are desperate and will pay anything for a baby.”
“Donors and surrogates are just money-hungry baby factories.”
“The doctors, clinics, lawyers and agencies who facilitate third-party reproduction are also in it for the money, selling babies to the highest bidder.”
Erickson has dealt such a blow to the integrity of not just our community of infertility patients and waiting couples, but to the entire professional family building community at large. Her fraud has eroded at the good work that’s being done by so many leaders in this field, people who are genuinely invested in establishing, evaluating and preserving ethical approaches to and practices of family building in the 21st century.
Her unbelievable decisions and actions have left a deep scar on our work, a chasm we will have to approach and cross over from here on out.
. . .
I was so honored to be invited to her show in April, to share my experiences with POF and talk about my big PETA smackdown.
Now, I just feel embarrassed.
. . .
I know I’m not the only one who feels this way, as Erickson’s misdeeds have sent shockwaves throughout the family building community of professionals. I’m sure Pamela’s post, along with mine, with be just two posts in a sea of editorials in the coming days. Another blogger for whom I have immense respect has also posted her thoughts about having also been a guest on Theresa’s show; Melissa’s post is spoken eloquently and with even more fire. She touches more on the anger that should I dwell on this too long, might consume me.
But I will say this: for all the unethical behavior on Erickson’s part, it was the ethical integrity of an industry colleague who brought this whole mess to the FBI’s attention. There is some comfort in knowing that this whole scheme only came to light because someone respected the ethics to which they were professionally – and perhaps personally – bound.
Those same ethical standards that Erickson was quick to cast aside for a paltry seventy grand.
. . .
“This case serves as a reminder to people who are desperate to have a child that you must be cautious,” FBI Special Agent Darrell Foxworth told ABC News.
No fucking kidding, Agent Foxworth.
As if we’re not cautious enough about BPA and caffeine and tight briefs and soy and not missing our trigger shots and filling out every line of homestudy paperwork and figuring out who we even tell that we’re infertile in the first place.
My dear Agent Foxworth, if you’d have been trying to have a child for years and years and years and years… wouldn’t your desperation be warranted after a certain point?
Perhaps not the price paid, as these families have, but at least the sense of longing, of wanting?
Agent Foxworth, don’t judge us for wanting something that is otherwise unobtainable without third-party help. Our desire for children is a basic life force.
And don’t forget – Theresa Erickson is the unethical exception, not the norm.
. . .
I can honestly say I’ve never experienced anything like this in my entire life. I’m shocked, angry, hurt, and disgusted. I sigh heavily at the amount of damage control that this community must do now in the wake of her scandal.
But mostly, I’m just sad.
I’m sad that I have to be connected to her in any way. I feel dirty and used. I have a bad taste in my mouth. I nearly passed out (literally) as I read the news this afternoon at work.
I’ve removed the links from my Media page. I’m still on the fence about what to do with my existing posts; do I delete them entirely or just yank them from my blog and revert them back to drafts? Thankfully Erickson’s website and Voice America radio show pages now show 404 errors. Stupidly, I never downloaded my own mp3 of the show I was on, because I assumed, yanno, it’ll live on in the eternity of the internet.
I never expected the show’s host could potentially wind up in federal prison for selling babies on the black market.
. . .
According to other news stories on the whole affair, Erickson had this to say on her Facebook page yesterday (her profile appears to have disappeared too):
I have never taken advantage of parents, children, donors or surrogates who otherwise would remain vulnerable to the underbelly of this industry. Remember, any story can be spun and manipulated to make a story salacious. Yet know from the bottom of my heart that I have done the right things to protect some children from otherwise disastrous outcomes.
Here’s what I wish I could say to her face in response:
Theresa, you believe you may not have taken advantage of these individual players in your scheme, but you took advantage of your role as a trusted leader in the family building community to make a sad, quick buck.
You’ve taken advantage of anyone who ever supported you, ever stood up to bat for you and praised your good works, myself and hundreds of others included.
. . .
So we’ll have our commentary and our speculation about motives and just what the sweet holy hell she was thinking in the first place. We’ll have our PR cleanup work to do.
We’ll move on and maybe even forgive in time.
But our community will never forget this kind of betrayal.
UPDATE: Further reading at my second post on the baby selling case – Moving Beyond the Theresa Erickson Scandal: A Call for Community Healing.
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49 Responses to Betraying the Community: My Response to the Theresa Erickson Scandal
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Beautifully said. This is the part that jumped out at me: “Agent Foxworth, don’t judge us for wanting something that is otherwise unobtainable without third-party help. Our desire for children is a basic life force.” Because that is what the community will reap — more judgment. And how can you fight everything that comes emotionally from infertility AND fight the public’s perception of infertility too? No one has that much bandwidth.
The sheer thought of how much damage control that has to be done is overwhelming. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and emotions on this whole mess too. Just unreal.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this mess. I am still in shock and disbelief. Really?! As I said in my comment on Mel’s post, I feel uncharacteristically speechless right now and am grateful to you, Mel and others for once again being our voice, both during times of triumph and times of crisis in our ALI Community.
Thank you so much for your comment Kathy; it means a lot right now.
[...] of Hannah Wept, Sarah Laughed also spoke of feeling betrayed by Erickson. In the honest, raw, and eloquent way that it Mel’s (of Stirrup Queens), she [...]
“Damage control” is exactly that – it is better that we speak up and speak out, but the pessimist in me says that we will never be able to fully recover from the damage that was done. I do believe that this will gain as much notoriety as the Baby M case, and I have no doubt that it will be yet another indelible smear in the face of surrogacy and ART.
This was very well-written, Keiko. I forgot to include the fact that it was another lawyer who helped alert the FBI to Erickson’s unethical practices. I linked to you (and to Mel), so hopefully others will click through and find that fact here.
I saw your links – thank you for linking up here and the pingback. You’re right, I think, in that we might not recover from this for a long time.
Octomom was one thing.
This is an entirely different and WAY more fucked up thing altogether.
This was a very well written post, Keiko. I can understand why you feel so betrayed. I know I would. It’s such a huge violation of trust. She not only dooped you, but she dooped an entire community.
This whole thing makes my stomach hurt.
Mine too, Jonelle, mine too.
As if there are not enough orphans around the world who’s greedy governments make it so hard to adopt babies and children. No one needs to pay anyone to create a child.
On one hand, I agree: it would be amazing if the family building community could be that altruistic. On the other hand, it’s a business, and the capitalist in me can respect that. What Erickson did however, violated the ethics of that business in some truly horrible ways.
Actually, I did need to pay someone to create a child, or at least, I chose to do so, and am not ashamed to say so: he’s 4 and the love of my life. I was fortunate; we were able to use our own gametes and I was able to carry the pregnancy, still, the IVF that led to his conception plus the three proceeding it that didn’t work cost darned close to the $70K figure Keiko mentions here as Erickson’s net profit.
I agree that it’s tragic that there are children who need homes and families that want them and the two — in too many cases — cannot be joined. Yet let’s not forget that there exist problems and abuses in the world of adoption, also — tragically, it is in part the desire to prevent those that contributes to the hurdles that would-be adoptive parents face.
And the need for medical assistance (costly or otherwise) to conceive or bear a child doesn’t make necessarily make one a good candidate to be an adoptive parent, any more than being easily able to conceive and bear children means one shouldn’t adopt.
Hear hear. Brilliant comment. Thank you for weighing in!
I am just learning about this from you and Mel. So $70K is the going rate for a soul these days?
I shudder to think about the karma TE has created, all the people she has affected directly and with the ripples of this boulder she threw in the water.
Yeah. You don’t shake that kind of mojo in a lifetime.
I’m deeply confused. Where did the donor egg and sperm come from? The Ukraine? This sounds incredibly complicated and, unnecessary and frankly, evil.
I am so sorry you were duped by this person. And even worse, that this person has given our community a black eye. It’s the last thing we need
Pamela’s post has a pretty good outline of how it all happened. I had to read it a few times to get it myself and I’m still not sure if I totally understand everything that went down.
so very disturbing. the manipulation of trust, of people at their most vulnerable, of children. just awful.
this is a wonderful post, keiko, so important to share. thanks.
Disturbing is an understatement. Thanks for your comment and support.
I am so sorry this happened to the community. After all the hardwork you and others have done to change the way people view infertility and those living with it, along comes someone who just S***S all over it. I know this is a hard blow but the IF community is amazingly strong. For every ignorant person like Agent Foxworth and for every person with bad intentions like Erickson you will have someone like me who reads this blog and has their perception changed. I know this is a hard time and I want to respect the process of grief, anger, and healing but I just wanted to let you know that people outside the community aren’t going to think less of you (or anyone else in the community). I still think you all are awesomely courageous and inspiring.
Um, I would like to hug you. Thank you, thank you, thank you for this comment and for standing with our community.
cyber hugs for everyone
@Jjiraffe, yes, the donor eggs and sperm almost surely came from the clinic in Ukraine — just as the donor eggs and sperm that allowed me to have my children came from a foreign clinic. This story has just shaken the online infertility community where I participate. Some fertility advocates are predicting that this will be the death knell for compensated donor egg treatment in the U.S., which is under attack by the religious right and feminist groups in multiple states. I am so sad for the cancer survivors, victims of premature ovarian failure, and women who carry genetic diseases they dare not pass to genetic children who will be left with fewer options. Most will go overseas, I suspect, as women in the UK do.
The implications of this baby selling ring’s actions on the community are nightmarish.
That is terrible!!! I really hope that doesn’t happen. Hugs to you all…
I just stumbled upon this and don’t completely understand the situation I guess. But if someone was paid to be the surrogate and she did the adoption process for them, and the people were willing to pay the $100,000 then why is it so wrong? They wanted a baby and they got one. It is a complete rip off to pay that much money, but they agreed to that price right? The babies weren’t stolen and sold from ukrainin women..they agreed to it as well, right? As for the comment from the FBI, from a non angry person he doesn’t really sound like he is trying to be hurtful. Sometimes when we are desperate for things we make poor choices…he is jsut reminding us to step back and look at the situation better before jumping in.
Thanks for commenting, Tiffanie. Everything you mentioned is totally legal in and of itself, however, when all of these practices were combined with unethical bending of established third-party reproductive law, that’s where Erickson strayed into illegality.
While I understand perhaps were Agent Foxworth may have been coming from, when he speaks as someone outside of the Adoption/Infertility community, his comments come across as well-intentioned but poorly-landed advice, something our community hears ALL the time (e.g., “Just relax!” or “Just adopt!”).
[...] eloquently on the topic, especially since they had been recent guests on Erickson’s show: Keiko and Mel for example. However, I felt compelled to post on this topic since I am a parent thanks to [...]
[...] Melissa from Stirrup Queens and Keiko from Hannah Wept, Sarah Laughed both have posts about the Theresa Erickson baby selling ring. Theresa Erickson is a surrogate lawyer and well known to many of us in the fertility world. And yes, the story will make you sick to your stomach. My Thoughts on the Theresa Erickson Baby-Selling Scandal; Betraying the Community: My Response to the Theresa Erickson Scandal [...]
Great post. I almost don’t even have words. I’m struggling to comprehend how she could do this. I could almost understand if she were just a lawyer who decided there was money to be made doing this but she should know better! She is a reproductive lawyer! Just unbelievable.
You know one of the most awful outcomes I think this whole situation has is the effect on those children. I remember you posting a story a while back about how to explain donor eggs to a child using plant seeds, but what are these kids going to hear? Well, you were bought off the black market from a money hungry unethical lawyer… Its just so disheartening that every time the IF community gets a glimmer of good press something like this happens, launching us into ignorant comment land where ignorant people who before said, “oh I hope you don’t get eight babies like octomom” are now turning to, “I heard you can by babies off the black market!”
Its so, so disappointing.
Rebecca, that is the answer those kids get if we allow it to be defined that way. But as I said at greater length in a comment on Mel’s blog, beyond the unethical and illegal deceptions committed by Erickson (which are deplorable), what this case involves are children who were knowingly and planfully created and bound for loving homes where they were desperately wanted. I’m not saying that makes what Erickson did OK (far from it) but the children have nothing about their origins or their families to regret and I think that we as a community should stand strong and loud in voicing that.
I totally agree and no parent in their right mind would EVER say that to their child, but it still has an effect on the family as a whole was the point I was trying to convey. Depending on the various families involved and how they plan to explain their family building methods to their children, it could very possibly come out, and thats what would be a shame for both the kids and parents.
Fair enough, yes. I admit — and I have not walked in those shoes so do not mean this as a criticism but rather as a concern about what is possible and implications of trying to achieve things that are not — that I wonder about the wisdom of trying to conceal from children information about their origins (more bluntly, as DNA testing becomes more available and cheaper, more individuals will find out whether or not they are genetically related to their families). But of course even those parents who have decided to share with their children about how they came to be part of their families can only be as honest about that, as others have been with them, and you are right, that, too, is a part of this tragedy.
I sometimes flippantly point out to my DH that the advantage of our son having been conceived via IVF is that if there were ever a question about genetic paternity, it won’t be a matter of a conflict pitting DH against me, but rather of one pitting him and me against the clinic whose services we purchased. But as this (Erickson) case shows, that’s not actually funny except — at most — as a hypothetical counterfactual.
Ugh! Awful! I can’t help but wonder how the will affect people’s reactions when I explain that my daughter is donor conceived. And in turn how this may affect her feelings about it as she becomes more aware.
I hate that you and Mel feel tainted by your appearances on her radio show. You are both the most honorable advocates for our community. This just plain sucks! Big hug, Keiko.
As someone who struggled with the decision to use DE and the loss of her genetic link, this makes me sick to my stomach. I just had a conversation last night with a “friend” explaining that I did not exploit the donor when she received her measly payment of $3,500. It was payment for her time and effort – she have me a gift. I am dreading the phone call when my “friend” gets whiff of this scandal. I plan on saving all these links to share with those who don’t get it. Thank you for such a well written post Keiko. You are a class act – don’t let this get to you. We need you out there advocating for our community. I look forward to your next media event. (((hugs)))
So, the couples get to keep their babies AND they are getting money back. I bet they aren’t complaining.
Maybe she didn’t do it for the money. Maybe she did it because she was tired of seeing so many people without babies that she couldn’t help. The surrogates got paid, the babies were created from donated eggs and sperm. Maybe she thought that the end justified the means, that everybody wins. If she only made 70,000, isn’t possible that she thought that she was doing something right?
The process was skewed and twisted, and people were duped, it is a shameful mess. But, there are people with babies who get to keep them, that probably would have paid twice what they did to get them. Babies were created like they were commodities. I imagine that 30 years down the road this will be common place. Maybe they’ll even invent a damn womb tank to carry embryos, or bring them to term in donkeys or something. As twisted as it is, I’m not shocked that it happened. Saddened, but not shocked.
Sorry I’ve taken so long to reply – more details have come out that many of the players involved DIDN’T get paid… it’s just getting worse and worse.
As for the womb tank… if you’ve ever read Aldous Huxley’s “A Brave New World” he talks about test tube babies. And that was in 1932. To be very honest, with all of the innovations occurring in reproductive research, I’m not necessarily surprised either.
I do want to touch on the idea that the families created via Erickson’s scheme are not completely unaffected. There has definitely been a dark shadow cast on the conception stories of these children, and I can’t imagine being a parent having to make the decision later on in life about whether or not to tell them.
Unfortunately, this is horrible news for the industry; however, as an insider to the ART industry and parent of twins that I had through the legal assistance of Theresa Erickson and other professionals; persons with half an idea of what happened here need to also consider that this may just be that a few greedy people used a generous and caring individual that was at the forefront of this industry to work under to hide their devious plans.
One thing to think about is that she too has a story and unfortunately cannot share it due to the pending sentencing, but the truth about the involvement shall be told in time as she stated in the lone statement made thus far by Mrs. Erickson.
Many that jump on the band wagon and go out on a witch hunt for a person that has helped create thousands of families over the years may want to wait to judge her. Has anyone thought that this whole situation may be a case of her taking the plea to protect those thousands of legitimate families that were created from having their personal lives dragged out into the public forum? I know I would be highly upset to have my private life dragged through the public eye and have judgmental people ridiculing my wife and I for using not only a sperm donor and egg donor, but for using a surrogate too; all years after my family was created. Yes, we were in an arrangement based out of San Diego with all parties (egg donor, sperm donor and surrogate) all through different agencies/companies that were local along with the fertility Dr. I am sure many would want to ridicule me as well since neither my wife nor I are genetically related to our children, yet we love them more than life itself and don’t care that the DNA doesn’t match ours. My children know who their parents are and know they are the center of our lives and are very much loved. Oh, and by the way, the final amount spent in achieving my family was not around $100k. We spent well over $150K and gave up keeping track there. When doing the math, Surrogate, Egg Donor, Sperm Donor, Insurance for our surrogate, IVF Fees (the most expensive part of the whole arrangement), agency fees (for merely matching you with your egg donor, surrogate and sperm donor) and attorney fees, it’s easy to surpass $100K. My only thought on this is where is this profit to make it worth it for an attorney that had a thriving firm with hundreds of clients a year that would pay her for the legal side which is by far the cheapest part of the whole arrangement (yet also the most important)?
As far as the other codefendants, it is my understanding that one was a serial surrogate that was not physically capable of being a surrogate any longer due to her own reproductive health issues and turned into a “coordinator” that bounced around with residences inside and outside the US while the other (who was also a well known attorney in the ART field) was also a major part of the arrangements and from what it sounds like from individuals closely related was a key person and instrumental in the early stages of these questionable arrangements.
Also, they say one of the whistle blowers was a competitor… hmmm kind of odd that a competitor would do so something like this without their own personal interests involved since everyone is saying Theresa was the top attorney in the field and known for such around the world. I’m sure they only had the best intentions in mind and in no way thought about how they may benefit from trying to take down the top attorney in the country.
So far the story in the media has changed multiple times from when they first got wind of it Tuesday afternoon. The FBI and AG have only made limited statements without giving any details of the plea agreement and only list the charges and potential maximum penalties. As anyone with limited legal knowledge may know… charges are basically a list of elements and criteria that must be met before charging a person with a crime. No one said she was indicted. She merely pled guilty and it is typical that there should have been a statement of facts in support of the plea. To not be indicted or have her office raided, she must have been very forthcoming with the FBI and was very cooperative as to her role (if any in the scheme).
I am looking forward to hearing the full story and not contributing to the hysteria that the internet message boards and blogs are doing to fuel the fire that the media has set. All of these people that are uninvolved or not knowing the industry and/or facts involved are achieving by voicing their opinions are what is making everything worse for everyone else that do business in the ART industry and those families that were built through the amazing work of an ENTIRE team of professionals that make such a thing possible.
The media loves to report on juicy topics and tend to stretch a 2 line statement into a 2 page story of unverified statements or ideas. I believe this is what’s happening here. Just stop for a second and look at how much new information is coming out since Tuesday? None… except people looking for face time on camera or to create mass hysteria with their OMG’s and I knew she was shady without even knowing the true person/ professional that has helped so many. I must say this as well to all the people writing without any purpose than to just gossip… bloggers do not have the greatest credibility either since they just type whatever they feel or believe and in most cases don’t go out and obtain the facts before posting something that could be damaging to the industry they are so-called “trying to protect.”
As disheartened as I am, I’m also so thankful that someone had the ethical notion of ringing the bell on this woman. I am also SOOOOO relieved that the families involved in this disgusting ridiculousness will remain intact. Thanks so much for your thoughts on this.
This is just so disheartening, I am not sure what else to say. It already makes me so sad when people say that we are “buying” our baby whenever we mention adoption. This will not help matters.
I’ve been a surrogate three times, and Erickson handled two my cases. I just want to say “Justice has been done”. My compensation payments were always late, never on time and there was never an escrow account which I did question about.
Erickson came down tumbling and the FBI shut here business down.
Thank you for posting and sharing your experiences, and I’m so sorry that you had to experience this with Erickson. It’s still hard to believe someone so prominent really thought she could get away with this. I hope you’re getting the support you need and I want to thank you for making the brave sacrifice to be a surrogate not once, but 3 times. Simply amazing.
Do be well.
[...] had a lot to think about the Theresa Erickson baby selling scandal since my post Wednesday. I realize the power of my words: I’ve had several colleagues in this [...]
Beautiful response, Keiko! Beautiful!
Beautiful reply, Keiko…beautiful.
Great job, Keiko!